This is the second installment in the Betrayal trilogy. It has a darker tone than the first book. But it also takes care of a lot of questions that didn't get answered in The Awakening. I think this one is my favorite so far. Mainly because Anna is a vampire now. As a 'newly found', she struggles with her existence. All she wants to do is be a vampire, but for some reason she doesn't have the same traits as the collective. This leads her to believe there was a truth to Madeline's tales about there being a cure. And so the story is about Anna's search for the truth. There's also big news about Anna. It works well with the storyline and sets up for the next book nicely.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the snippet off the first chapter. Thanks for reading. -Kira Hillins
"There is never night and day in my world. Only Darkness."
Some people say the soul leaves the body when you die. In the end, you’ll be led to an eternal resting place. Given immortal's blood on my death resulted in an awakening. Now my grave will forever be empty as I walk the earth alive but dead.
My name is Anna Holden. I’m what legends and myths call a vampire. I sometimes wonder if Tristan made the right decision by bringing me back. That night, as my spirit began to rise, I watched him drink from my veins. The farther I ascended, the more I sensed the presence of family. I craved to join them in an eternity of light. But then...I tasted his blood, cold on my lips, bitter on my tongue. It called me back to my body. And so I turned away from the light. His darkness enveloped me in its arms. I wanted more. More of him.
When I opened my eyes, I was drinking in his essence and it tasted divine. Darkness poured through me. I felt him inside my veins. My mind. An awareness of him heightened and then I saw his past.
He’s endured so much pain. Pleasure. Rage. I despise the sensations, and yet, they draw me in. They give me a new understanding of him, a respect for the darkness within. I know why he is gentle, but he is also fierce.
The life Tristan has led astounds me. He’s killed without remorse. It’s as if these memories are from a completely different man, for I have never seen him so ruthless. I’ve wanted to ask how he learned to cope with the things he's done, but he doesn’t know I’ve seen his past.
There are many secrets now. This journal will hold several; the one’s pertinent to our existence, to my existence. I only hope when you read this you’ll understand. This is my gift to you—my confessions.
Yes. I am a vampire, but for some reason I have defied the rules of my fate. In the beginning, I carried their disease. Black eyes and hair. Slow heartbeat. I had an insatiable taste for blood and had no reason to draw in a breath. But then this morning, I awoke to find my eyes blue. My heart beats faster. The roots of my hair have come in blonde. It's fascinating and frightening at the same time. Tristan believes again that I hold a cure for vampirism. And now we're on a mission to find it. I will document our progress here when I can.
Tristan has drawn blood from me every day for the past month. Vials of it. My body is sore and I am weak, but I stay silent. How can I tell him to stop, when he is so determined to find out why this is happening to me? He's obsessed. His patience is wearing thin. Sometimes his temper flares, because we’ve had no luck in the research we’ve done. Although I've found ways to look like a vampire, he won't let me leave the house. I'm not even allowed to see William anymore. Tristan goes off with him almost every night leaving me here alone. And during the day, I'm nothing but a test subject. I don't know if I can take this anymore.
In the last two weeks, I’ve grown worse. Or better, depending how you look at it. It’s a very peculiar thing that my humanity isn't just coming out in me. Now I warm Tristan's skin with just a touch. His eyes have turned blue when we make love. I don't have any idea what is going on, but I love the attention he's giving me. And it's blatantly clear that he loves feeling human again.
For a while, Tristan longed to be near me. My warmth was like a drug. He couldn't get enough. Lately, he’s been distant. I’m not sure why. Confusion? Frustration? Fear? Whatever is going on with him, he needs to talk to someone about it. I’m afraid someday he’ll grow tired of all this stress and leave me.
That thought looms over me like the fog outside my door. I know William would understand, but Tristan won't tell him what is happening. All I want is answers, but there’s nobody I can talk to. I guess that’s why I’m writing it all down here. Maybe it’ll help me with all that’s going on.
Maybe there was some truth to Madeline’s madness. She swore I held a cure to this disease, but nobody believed it in the end.
As I look at Tristan now, I know he holds on to this dream of being human, and I don’t blame him. But I don’t know if I can keep this up. I don’t know how much longer I can donate vials of my blood for research. I’m fatigued and nauseated. I’m hungry all the time. The very thought of drinking blood makes me sick. I want real food. I’m not allowed to keep anything in the refrigerator, so I stash a low supply of it here in the basement. I eat one meal after Tristan gets home, usually before dawn. He says if anyone saw me eat or even smelled food on my breath, they’d bring me to the elders. So, here I hide. Until we know for sure why I am the way I am I’m a prisoner in my own house.
I’ve grown weak because of it. I’ve blacked out a few times, but, thankfully, Tristan was here to pick me up. He thinks I’m malnourished because I refuse blood. He believes I need both types of food in order to survive. Maybe he’s right. But I can’t imagine washing down a meal with a glass of human blood.
Okay. True confession. There is a reason for the way I feel—a reason I can barely bring myself to type. This secret has been eating me up inside for the past week. If I keep it to myself any longer, it’ll drive me insane. So here it goes.
I'm…expecting. Or at least I think I am. Two months along, I’m certain. It’s such a strange thing to write. Tears of joy comes to my eyes at the very thought of being a mother. But it scares the hell out of me. Beyond words. It’s not that I don’t want to have a child, but this dark world wasn’t made for them. Children shouldn't even be possible. But…here I am.
I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him about it? Or should I run far, far away? I don’t know how this will affect him when he already has to keep so many secrets. They harden his heart. And now that he’s an elder, I fear this news might send him further into desperation. After hundreds of years of being alone, he’s found a family with them. He belongs with them, and I only hold him back.
I’ll end this entry on that note, for he eyes me from across the room. He always senses my worry. It’s a good thing he can’t read my mind, or else he’d know everything I have kept from him.
Would’ve been a perfect night to ask her if she wanted to meet and pursue some sort of…relationship-type thing if their meeting worked out. Not sure how it’d work since she lived five hundred miles away, but he was ambitious.